Even though the year 2007 has not finished, and we are currently more than halfway done with it, I hereby came up with a list of PERSONAL RESOLUTIONS for the month of JULY, which I’ll promise not to break for the thousandth time. This, in a way, is a huge step for me so don’t laugh! Hehehe.

 

I WILL…

 

1. I WILL stop renting more than 5 movies per Friday at Video City and not watch them.
2. I WILL save up at least a portion of my monthly salary.
3. I WILL get started on my “abuse” Cinemalaya indie film screenplay.
4. I WILL stop procrastinating.
5. I WILL come to work ON TIME. (Maybe with the exception of days of heavy cramp-age or rainfall.)
6. I WILL think first before I talk. Prudence, they call it.
7. I WILL be more friendly—not phony biotch friendly—but friendly.
8. I WILL stop chugging down soda.
9. I WILL stop sulking about not having boyfriend. (Note to self: Stop being picky! Though officemates have been egging me on with certain office friend who seems to have exceptional qualities, I find myself smirking at concept and shaking head at thought of it, giggling like a buffoon. Snort!)
10. I WILL watch Michael Bay’s TRANSFORMERS sometime this week!!! – as to not be left out in group discussions of the movie. Everyone I KNOW has seen it!!! Though I really need someone to go with! Haaay. 

I talk too much. I have no filtering system. I usually think out loud and end up wide-eyed and shocked at self after saying something really stupid and weird. As soon as I turn my back to the person I was talking to, I’d cringe and think to myself--“ what the hell was THAT all about?!”

 

Like this afternoon—at the office. In direct relation with the thrown conversation topic, I articulated that I usually learn all the swear words first when studying a foreign language (because they are the most useful, hehe)—which is totally true. (I kept a collection of translations back in the 9^th grade—pathetic I know.)

Edwin and Abbey looked at me from across the room. Then Edwin asks what the French word for “shit” is.

I paused and thought for a while. Shit. I knew this one! Henry and Frank and Chris would always yell this one out loud in the school hallway after realizing that they had an unannounced quiz for Ms. Young’s French 2.

Tip of the tongue. Can’t get it out. I must’ve looked like a total ass—and I cringe now even more as I relive the moment.

“Sheeit?” I wanted to call out loud in French accent—but then that would be totally corny and …corny. =P Haha.

 

So yeah. I ended up making a total ass of myself because my mouth got ahead of me again—which is pretty frequent.

 

Freudian slip?

 

Sheis! Merde!

No, I will not sleep with you!

...and we cannot share a blanket!

Perv!

January Something 2007, 8:15pm

 I’ve drastically lost weight—from all the physical and mental labor I have invested in our movie, “Nakaw Na Pangarap”. No sleep, no food, no everything—my wallet lost a lot of weight too…actually, it’s already empty. The total cost of the filmmaking process was way beyond my price range. It was an ambitious film,  an ambitious budget and an ambitious director…not no regrets. Absolutely NO regrets. In fact, I’d do it all over again if I had the chance. =)…and the resources. I’ve made friends with the cast and crew, so it’s a pretty square deal.
Geez, I remember the 2^nd overnight editing session over at the mansion. It was Sunday. Falco, Diane and Ian all showed up at the mansion coincidentally at the same time at 3 AM. Ian came from his house and Falco and Diane came from their date.
So yeah. Basically we all went upstairs to the editing room. Was happy with the new company. Popper and Tia Dely were getting pretty stale—both of them were already sleeping. The only live ones were me and Kit.
Falco and Diane both left at 7 A.M so it was basically me, Popper, Ian and Tia Dely left. The editing continued. Popper left at 11A.M and left me P500.00 for lunch. At lunchtime, we all piled into Ian’s van and headed straight for Jollibee Siena. At that time, my hair was already a mess, my eyebags were growing…actually, so was everyone’s.
We made a quick stop over at Mini Stop at Masambong. Kit got off and me, Ian and Tia Dely ended up talking in the van as we waited for him. Only then did I learn that he was a boyband member.
    “Weh!” I said, my bloodshot eyes growing big in skepticism.
   “Yeah.” Ian persisted, nodding his brows at me.
He sang for the boyband, “Loaded”—a pop group. I didn’t really quite know what to make out of that information. Part of me wanted to giggle coz the first “boyband” thought that entered my head was of the boyband “2gether”—and we all know how at least one member of every popular boyband ends up gay—not that homosexuality is a bad thing—I mean, I tolerate it—but the way I presently perceive boybands affects the way I perceive Ian—and I pretty much think it’s unfair to him—to instantly think that he’s gay just because he was in a boyband. But yeah, he did go through the whole boyband promotion thing—from mall tours to photo ops to the recording and the whole: “Girl….oh girl! I wanna be your boy…” thing. Hehehe. I’m terrible.
     Kit reappears at the passenger seat with a bag of water bottles and a bag of junk food. We drove back to the mansion. So yeah, we all lay out on the couches in the living room.
    Kit took a seat on the fancy schmancy sofa, Ian sat right across from him. He talked about redesigning the mansion—if he ever lived in it.
We were laughing hysterically. Well, I was laughing my ass off the whole time. Anyway, we eventually moved upstairs to do more editing.
 
     In the process, I found myself sleeping next to Ian. Not on the same bed though. He was lying on the mattress next to me, facing my direction and SURPRISINGLY he doesn’t snore. So yeah…there. I had to get up and help out with the editing process. I was too mentally and physically drained. I PASSED OUT again, drifting off into a dreamless sleep and waking up to the same face of boyband dude sleeping beside me. Hee. He looked good. =) Giggle giggle.
 
I got up and went to the bathroom. It’s been a really long day. I haven’t showered, haven’t brushed my teeth and haven’t groomed yet. I totally reeked. Ian was still sleeping. Kit was still editing. Yvette had left.
The lock on the bathroom door was broken and every person that had to use the bathroom had to be cautious. I most certainly was. Yvette had gone to the dorm to shower while I was sleeping so I was basically stuck with Kit and Ian. I had no one to ask to watch over the bathroom door. Heck I smelled really bad already. I just needed to change my shirt really quick. It would only take a few seconds. So I started to change my shirt and was about to put on my green shirt when suddenly IAN walks in and I was still half dressed!
    “Hey!” I shouted, pulling the shirt down hurriedly.
“Sorry.” He said, but still CONTINUED on go inside the bathroom. What’s up with that?! I grabbed my reeky shirt and hurried out the bathroom. It became kinda awkward after.
 

Alas, we’re back in touch again, me and L [real name withheld]. He now lives in the mainland. We go way back in high school—in art class, D Period. He was the “New Guy”, and I was a senior theater freak trying to survive AP Lit class. I remember spending lunch period alone, walking through the school corridor trying to memorize lines for “Shakespeare’s Idiots” when I saw him sitting alone by the lockers. He was looking at me. I smiled at him politely—

 

He smiled back, got up, and walked towards me and shook my hand, maintaining eye contact. He was taller than I was, clean cut, with his deep brown eyes. “I’m L. [real name withheld!] Your name is?”

 I forgot everything I was memorizing in that instant…If I were an anime character, my eyes would’ve definitely been half open and I’d be floating on pastel colored leaves and bubbles. The awkwardness of the situation melted away a bit.  I gave him my name. The bell rang…
In the few weeks that I’ve known him, he would always sit on my assigned seat in homeroom class, drop by my locker after class and sit next to me in art class. The awkwardness would again return whenever I could feel his gaze all throughout Mr. Smith’s lecture on Da Vinci and Michaelangelo. I began to shy away…I was pathetic.
…until he had to move.
…It didn’t take long before I had to move as well.